Cuddling

Before my husband, I was never in a serious enough of a relationship that I had my boyfriend spend the night, so like every other girl, I believed in the beautifully romanticized view of cuddling.  If I ever did one of the very obnoxious Myspace surveys and the "do you like to cuddle?" question popped up, I always answered yes.  So when I started dating my husband and things got serious enough for sleepovers, I thought I'd hit the jackpot when he said he was a cuddler.  Little did I know, that he'd had some practice.  Well, the truth is, as I've come to find out after about a year and a half of marriage plus the year we dated, that I really only like to cuddle with my pillow, sometimes 2 or three pillows if I'm napping or sleeping alone.  And to make matters worse, I'm starting to believe, anatomically speaking, that homo sapiens sapiens are not made to cuddle.  Perhaps the whole separate beds your grandparents or great grandparents had going on wasn't too far-fetched!

Issue #1 with cuddling: HAIR.  And while guys for the most part have short hair, I'm going to make a blanket and heteronormative statement that women have longer hair.  I always find that my husband's head/face always end up in my hair!  No matter what, it's like he's tiny silly moth looking for food and my hair is the big scary spider web that attracts it and doesn't let it go.  To top it off, my hair is ruthless.  Even with me, it never does what I ask it to do, and it tends to misbehave most when I'm sleeping.  So the whole romantic husband spoons the wife is no good here.  

Issue #2: ARMS.  Most of us have two of them and I find that no matter how many positions I try, one arm always loses all it's sensitivity after 20 minutes or so of cuddling.  My husband sleeps on his back ( a little like a corpse) so he wants me to lay on my belly (which is fine since I sleep with my ass facing the ceiling anyway) and put my left arm over his shoulder. And while it appears and feels comfortable at first, after the 20 minute mark, my short stubby arm really starts to hurt.  So I try to lower it, but it just so happens that his diaphragm is there and it can't function properly.   Another position we try is for me to spoon him.  And again this is only good for a while, but since my short arm has to reach over his side, my hand either aches from low blood flow or it starts to fall asleep.  Sometimes my arm aches like if you fall asleep on your belly with your legs hanging of the bed.  And of course my right arm is somewhat under me and unhappy as well.

Issue #3: Legs.  Yes, believe it or not, legs can be annoying when trying to cuddle.  I have, in more than one occasion accidentally kneed my husband "below the belt".  Talk about a "rude awakening"  I always find it hard to position my legs properly on top of his to make the cuddling work.  Plus our height difference doesn't help either,  I'm about 5'1" with shoes, and he's I'm guessing 5'10" or so.  Either way, he's a whole head taller than I am, once again making the hair and legs an issue because HIS mouth falls right into my head and his crotch onto my knee.

Issue #4:  Developing morning breath.  That's right, I said it!  Morning breath.  This whole movie morning kiss, drives me up the walls!!! You're going to tell me that neither person has morning breath?!? My husband also likes to sleep face to face.  Well I just CAN'T!  The thought of breathing in what he is breathing out is just gross.  I mean, I really really do love him and I definitely enjoy kissing him, but breathing in his carbon dioxide, well that's just crazy talk, right along with sharing a toothbrush or using the bathroom in front of the other person. 

The one cuddling strategy that worked for us until my husband found out was the fake cuddle.  What do I mean, you wonder.  My husband always falls asleep before I do when we get into bed, so, I cuddle with him long enough for him to be very very asleep.  And how do I know when I can cuddle with my mistress fluffy pillow you ask?  Well he makes this very adorable and in my opinion calming sound.  He blows a tiny puff of air out of his mouth that literally sounds like a whispering "ppuufff".  At that point I kiss him on the cheek and give him the butt.  Well not quite since I sleep on my belly, but you get the idea.  I face to my right and put my hands under my pillow and as my mind goes crazy with the many thoughts that tangle themselves, I fall asleep. 

However, after my husband found out about my cuddle cheat, I try everyday or shall I say night, to cuddle with him more and more.  Why you ask?!  Because for better or for worse, we're married, love each other and I figured it's the least I could do to show him that I love him.  And so, I will continues to google, youtube, and bing, cuddling videos and strategies until I find something that works for at lest 30 minutes. :-)

Kona

Meet Kona. She is my husband's first adopted cat.  He adopted her right before his 5th year in college.  Her story is quite interesting.  Before my husband took her in, she "belonged" to the Texas A&M equestrian center.  Kona was spayed by veterinary students and the top of her ear was clipped before releasing her back to the stables.  However, about a year after Kona and her brothers and  sisters were born, my husband's friend who was in charge of the stable's cats noticed that some kittens were disappearing, and that perhaps, they were being eaten by bigger animals.  So she called on her friends and asked if anyone was willing to adopt a cat.  My husband originally planned on adopting Kona's sister, but he melted when he saw Kona.  She was very tiny, and more Manx-like.  And let's face it, a kitty without a tale is definitely fun to look at.  Kona is our Halloween Kitty.

Kona's personality is borderline anti-social.  But I think she's mostly scared of new faces.  She rarely likes to be picked up, although, she loves to be petted and belly-rubbed.  She is definitely playful, but only when she thinks no one is watching.  And she totally has some weird quirks! She's our most quirky kitty.  She LOVES stinky smells.  We know it's time to wash our bathroom rug when Kona starts to love on it.  He favorite thing to do, is to get into smelly shoes! So if you come to our home, you can't say that the stinky feet are not yours because Kona will make a liar out of you! She will find the shoes and basically make out with them for a good twenty minutes.  We have a very long video of her licking my husband's flip flops.  It's a bit creepy but it's better than her cork-chewing habit.  (Anecdote on cork-chewing/eating on a later post)

Over-protective of MY shoe!

Kona is also our best player in hide and seek.  If she chooses to hide, good luck finding her.  She always finds the best places to hide and to drive you crazy while trying to find her.  Her most recent place, which took me about a week to figure out where in the kitchen she was, is the chair! Yes, she hides in plain sight!  Our chairs are always pushed in under the table and in order to get away from our two other cats, she just naps on the chair all day, where unless you're looking for her, it's pretty impossible to see her.

Kona under the door mat.

Kona is a true KITTY!  She naps all day away from it all, plays with the most random of objects like our super small 99cent Ikea rug, and is sometimes ditsy.  The funniest thing she does, is to jump on tables, desks, or the like, without checking if there is enough room for her to land, so as she's mid air, she re-thinks her move and ends up belly-flopping onto the side of the table only to look at whoever is around and pretend it never happened

She is pretty mischievous.  She loves to chew on things, especially flowers and plants.  In this picture she's chewing a some flowers my husband bought for me.  But even better was when she defied my husband and chewed and swatted the very tiny pineapple, off the pineapple plant my husband had just bought.  Although he continually reprimanded her for messing with the plant she waited for the perfect moment when he was looking right at her, to give the innocent pineapple the final bitch slap that sent it off the table.  We love her either way.  It's hard not to considering she makes us laugh on a regular basis.  The most common thing she does, that drives me crazy and makes me laugh hysterically for hours is when she very seriously comes out of her bathroom covered in litter.  She puts on her most serious face and walks all like the very proper lady cat she is. 

Here's our dear Kona making her way of our her bathroom very upset at the photographer.  She doesn't see any reason as to why I'm taking pictures like a paparazzi does when Octomom goes out for the morning paper.  

and here she is 20 minutes later still thinking there is nothing wrong.   But of course, just when you think she's turned into an inappropriate lady cat she surprises you by laying on her belly with her legs stretched out behind her and crossed!  That's right, she may have been raised by horses, but she never loses sight of her manners!

Perfect leg-crossing form.  No peek-a-boos.  Pure lady-cat-like behavior.

BIRTHDAY SUCCESS!

Well, we just finished celebrating my husband's 26th birthday and although the day started a little on the rainy side and we had to do a birthday dinner instead of lunch, I think it went really well.  We drove to our usual Joe's Crab Shack and started the night with the crab nacho appetizer, and let me tell you, for a girl who really doesn't do seafood, they were yummy! I wanted seconds!

The cake turned out better than I thought, but for a second there, I did freak out!  As it turns out, I made a rookie mistake.  I didn't have a whole pound of powdered sugar for the raspberry buttercream so I had to do some math and figure out the new ratios for it.  I think I over did the butter but it was still delicious!  However, my kitchen looked like it had been through a "Buttercream vs. Chocolate ganache" battle.

In the end, it worked out for the best.  First I decided that I would cover the cake in the ganache, because I thought that 1. my husband would think that a pink cake was insulting and 2. he really wanted a chocolate cake, but then I double guessed myself and thought that it would just be too much chocolate, so I went back to thinking I should just frost it like the recipe called for.  And I guess things happen for a reason, because I only had enough buttercream for in between the layers and not a drop extra to frost the sides. So I took a deep, deep breath and poured all of my chocolate ganache on the top of the cake and let it drip down the sides until the whole cake was covered in chocolate.  It took every ounce of effort I have in my body not to lick the bowl and spatula as the chocolate ganache slowly dripped down the sides of the cake (well down the one continuous side, since it's a round cake).  The cake looked AMAZING! all nice and shinny, full of chocolate goodness, but I still wondered if it would be any good. 

I know that the cake does look a little rough here and there, but to my husband, it was the most perfect cake ever and it really meant alot to me that he thought so highly of it.  I really wanted to make this birthday very special for him, and since I can't ever seem to be able to surprise him with gifts, the cake was the best way to do something special.  But I guess you're wondering what the inside of the cake looks/looked like so here's a pic.  Please don't judge it, this is not Cake Wrecks (which by the way, it's a great blog follow! Many lessons to be learned about cake ordering).

I know, once again, it looks rough BUT it was definitely better tasting than it looks; pinky promise!  Another problem I had with my layers, was that the cake was just TOO moist!  Believe it or not. I should have left them out on my cooling rack a little longer before wrapping them in plastic wrap.  I think they needed to lose a bit more of their moisture to prevent some of the breaking, but overall, I think the layers look pretty even... just don't use an actual level.

Another tradition my husband suggested we add to the birthday ritual is to have the person's actual age on the cake.  We decided to do it because a while back as we were going through my mother-in-laws personal affairs we came across so many family birthday photographs and we could only guesstimate the age of the birthday boy/girl.  We had to Nancy Drew the photographs and gather clues to approximate the age.  So we decided that from now we would just put it out there for everyone to see no matter how old we get!  So here's the final version of the cake.  

In the end, the birthday was a total Success!  We had a blast at Joe's since they make their waiters and waitresses dance to songs like "Working at the car wash", we ate good food, and watched some of our favorite movies and TV shows, and of course, ate some really yummy and chocolaty birthday cake. 

Cake-day!

Howdy!

Well, the day has arrived.  It is now 4:41am on Friday, September 24, 2010 and I'm currently waiting for my first two cakes to come out of the oven!  Today is my husband's 26th birthday and as I mentioned before, he wanted a big chocolate cake for his special day.  About 7 months ago, I happened to find a chocolate raspberry cake recipe online and I saved it.  Hoping to either make it for my mother-in-law's cake-day or perhaps our wedding anniversary.  But as the saying goes, "if you want to hear God laugh, tell him  your plans". And that is exactly what happened. 

Our first Valentine's Day and Wedding Anniversary fell between hospital visits, stays and it just got worse from there.  This birthday will be especially hard for my husband.  His mother passed away in May.  To make matters worse, he is an only child with only "wedding and funeral" relatives left.  You know, those relatives you only happen to see and hear from during weddings and funerals.  The only thing you ever know about them is whether they are getting married or dying.  So I intend to make this birthday as special as possible. 

Since I first met my husband it was clear that birthdays and Christmas are a big deal in his family.  Not because there are extravagant celebrations planned, but rather, because it's all about the birthday boy/girl.  The weekend closest to the birthday, the birthday boy/girl gets to choose a restaurant, we go there to eat, come back to my husband's childhood home, open gifts, sing Happy Birthday, eat cake and watch our favorite movies or TV shoes (hahaha I meant shows, not shoes).  The birthday celebration starts around lunch time and ends after 10pm.  An average of 10 hrs of laid back birthday celebration filled with good food, and greater company.

This year, for the most part, will be no different.  My husband's all time favorite birthday restaurant, Joe's Crab Shack, will be our destination tomorrow, Saturday, September 25th around lunch time.  I'm hoping that all my efforts are enough to make this birthday just, if not, even more special than before, but it's definitely going to be hard.  Just writing about it makes me sad.  I have even taken the role of buying my husband his US 2010 Mint Proof Set of coins.  It's another one of my husband's birthday traditions.  Every year, regardless of what he gets for his birthday, his mom always bought him the year's proof set, and I will continue to do so for him. 

But for now, at 4:58am, all I'm worried about is the first two cakes that are in the oven...  Later today, I will worry about keeping it fresh over night, since I'm decorating it tomorrow morning, and around 2:15pm I'll be worrying about my husband's job interview.  That's right, he landed a job interview for a better paying job and perhaps a bit easier of a job.  We're really hoping he gets the job offer.  I think that after everything that has happened during the first 5 months of 2010 and the aftermath of the events, he deserves some good news and a good change in his routine. 

Did I mentioned that I only have two 9 inch round cake pans and that because each boxed cake mix only makes two, very skinny 9 inch cakes, that I will be baking around 4 of the boxes?!?  But as cliches go, it is very true what they say, "the best way to get a a man's heart is through his stomach". 

I mean, sure I could have called the best bakery in town and ordered an extremely elaborate cake that will definitely put my Betty Crocker cakes to shame, but there is nothing more my husband appreciates more than coming home to find me in the kitchen cooking him an awesome dinner.  And please, don't go labeling him as a sexist, gender-role advocate.  He really loves it when I cook for him, because he knows that, that is how I show him that I love him.  I'm definitely far from those cheesy, PDA gals.  I rather show him I love him by doing something special for him than by saying cheesy things.  And, it's always nice when he tells me that his co-workers complimented the lunch I packed for him in the morning.  And I know he would do the same for me, if he stayed home and I worked. 

On to my next batch! Toodles!

"Just because" Cake, April 2010

New Beginning, Slow Start.

Grayson, showing his male junk.

Howdy,

It has officially been one week since I deleted my facebook account.  And let me tell you, deleting, or shall I say deactivating, is definitely the easiest part.  I guess what makes it even harder is that,

1. I can always log back in, and it will be like nothing ever happened, like I didn't even try to break the vicious cycle. and
2. that it's really difficult, almost impossible to communicate with anyone these days without facebook or any other social network access.  

I don't really have any real "good" reason for deleting it, other than the fact that I have no self-control what-so-ever! I was a total facebook addict.  I would constantly check it during my free time, and since I'm currently not working, that was a lot of, what I presumed to be "free" time, and my housekeeping was definitely below par.  So I figured that the best way to be kept accountable for my facebook addiction was to make a very public decision to deactivate it.  Since I don't want my "friends" to think that I'm a flake, I figured that I can at least go until Christmas without logging on.  But, as of now, we're taking it one day at a time.

 So now that I somewhat have a handle on my time wasting issues, I have decided to really start the home projects my husband and I planned in June.  Which is how the title of this post came about.  My new beginning is to upgrade our home while my husband is at work.  However, any home improvement project is always slower than one thinks. 

Since the economy is not treating anyone well, I decided to spruce up/organize our home in more affordable ways.  And as you probably already know, de-cluttering, painting and organizing are the least expensive ways to change a room. 

The first room to be subjected to the Miri Treatment was our guest bedroom.  We started by pulling everything out from all the nooks and crannies, including the closet, dresser  and night stand drawers, and of course, under the bed!  As we moved from area to area, we had a throw away box, a donation box and a keep box.  I was really hoping that the donation and throw away boxes would be bigger and for the most part, I don't think the keep box was too extreme.  After that, it was time to take out the furniture.  Which only consisted of a full size bed, night stand and dresser.  The dresser was too big to move into our hallway (temporary storage while the room was being painted) so we moved it to the middle of the room.

We finally got to painting and after about 1.5 coats of paint we're currently waiting for the walls to dry.  Tomorrow night, my husband and I will put the room back together!

I always feel like I should pass along various time saving or money saving tips I have learned along the way.  So here's what my husband and I lucked into as we were shopping at our local Home Depot.  Home Depot and Lowe's both have a pile of "oops" paint.  Oops paint is paint that was returned because it was mis-tinted/colored/match.  These cans are usually about 95 to 98% full.  And as luck will have it, my husband and I found 2 gallons of yellow paint that is a 95% match to  the paint chip we had chosen for our hallway! WHOOP!  It my not seem like a big deal, but oops paint is highly discounted.  You can get a gallon of paint for about $10. And if you really love the color, but you don't find enough, you can always have them match it and save some money in the process. 

So for today's post, I will add the only picture I have of our guest bedroom before the Miri Treatment. 

Doing Married Right...

Howdy Internets!

Yesterday, I had a very long and interesting conversation with a really good friend.  I guess I should first give some background on her and myself in order to make the blog more easily understood.  After more than a few failed relationships, my friend "E" has finally realized that she shouldn't have to settle for a guy, but rather, set higher standards for herself when it comes to relationships.  We both started out with very different opinions on what the "perfect" grown up life should be.  She was convinced that having a man (or being married) in her life was the answer, and I, on the other hand, wanted to live a single girl's life until my late 20s, possibly early 30s.  Well, Internets, the tables have turned (somewhat). 

I'm still a very firm believer that no one needs a significant other to be happy.  Whether you're gay, lesbian, bisexual or straight, I have always believed and made it very clear that, if YOU can't be happy with yourself, bringing someone else into your life will not fix things. In fact, it will probably further complicate the situation.  However, I have learned that passing up on the person you love just because it wasn't in your neatly written list of things to do before "blank age" is also not the best policy.  My friend "E" is learning the "a significant other doesn't bring happiness" lesson the hard way.  Not because she is stubborn or stupid but rather, a young hopeless romantic who fell through the cracks of romantic comedy idealism.  From the time we met, sometime in high school, she had a boyfriend or was on the hunt for one.  I, on the other hand, had one half-ass relationship, that proved the old "mama knows best" saying (except this time it was Dad who knew best). And after my half-assed failed relationship, I became a bit bitter and closed off and decided that I would never again give up who I am to be with a guy.

It is nothing short of a miracle that today, at 24, I find myself married to an AMAZING man, who loves me, respects me, supports me, and has even said that if I wanted to, he would one day, become a stay-at-home dad, if I chose to further my career.  My friend 'E" currently finds herself finishing school, and finding her self-worth, by realizing that compromise in a relationship does not mean losing your identity and becoming "so-and-so's girlfriend".

This however, is not where the conversation got interesting.  As we were talking about our everydayness, "E" said "I honestly thought you would be the last person to ever get married, much less married this young. I mean, I don't think I could ever do it. I don't think I even know how to do 'Married'. How do you do it?!?"

Then, it hit me.  I don't know how to do married the right way either.  I guess there is a wrong way to do married, (example: an abusive relationship) but I'm not sure there is a right way to do things either.  I mean, I recently read an article that talked about how some couples sleep in separate beds! sometimes ever rooms! But my husband and I can't even go to bed without the other person.  "How do I do it", I said. "Well I guess you start by being honest and respecting each other and compromising.  Some days my husband wants to go see a movie I don't really care for, but I go with him because it's something we can do together. And he hates to go grocery shopping, but he goes with me because, again, we get to spend time together, and who knows, maybe one of our infamous plastic swords fight will happen".  But other than that I had nothing else.  I guess I also told her that you have to learn to "pick and choose your battles".  That some things are not worth an argument and that money can make you or break you.  If you have good money habits you better hope your partner does too. And if you're both bad with money, then you're definitely screwed, big time! 

But I guess you learned married as you go.  My husband's and mine best role model marriage is my parent's marriage.  Those two are crazy! They are literally together probably within 10 ft of each other an average of 23 hrs a day! Here's a quick break down of their day:

They sleep in the same bed. Eat breakfast together. Go to work in the same car, Work together (side by side mind you). Go home together. Have lunch and dinner together. When one is at the computer, the other one is watching TV in the same room, and last but definitely not least, their horrid smoking habit brings them closer because when one takes a "smoking break" so does the other one.  Not to mention that they shower together on a regular basis.  Oh yeah, and did I forget to mention that they talk the whole time they're together?!? Which is a really difficult thing to do when they were both there all day and went through the same things. I mean, what do you talk about?!?  This is not to say that they don't argue, because they do. But what's really great about them is that just as quickly as they started arguing, the fight ends, and no grudge is held! AMAZING!  They have choreographed "married" in the most fascinating way.  

So in the mean time, I have decided not to worry about doing "married" right.  I figured that I will eventually do it right more often than not. And that instead of worrying about what right means, I will just enjoy my husband and the life we're building together while still maintaining our own identities.  (By the way, I'm choosing to not disclosed my husband's name because I value his privacy, but if he allows me to share it, I will)

Our Wedding Day 3/21/2009

***Disclaimer: all of this was written by a 24 year old full of inexperienced advice who thinks she has life figured out (insert laugh here).

Cliches Make the World Go Round.

Howdy!

As guess you can say that when I met my husband in February 2007, I was sending all the wrong signals.  I was a sophomore in college and he was a first year senior and I was trying something new.  I had decided to only carry a binder with my class notes and a small bag (purse) that had an anime-like cat stitched on it, and  a very controversial hot pink pin that reads "Another Vagina Warrior", rather than a full backpack.  My now husband being the nerd/cat lover that he is, thought I was his usual kinda gal, nerdy and a cat person.  However, that was, and for the most part, it's still not the case, (but I have become a bit more of a cat person since we have adopted 3),  but back then that's all it took for him to be intrigued and for us to play a back and forth "hard to get" tune for a full year.

I guess you can say that I too, like my husband, am a nerd.  However, we're definitely not in the same category of nerdy-ness. 

Here are a few examples of how we differ in nerdy-ness.

Husband: 

1. Loves computers. And by that I mean building, changing
   adding, removing, deleting, and just all around messing with them.
2. Enjoys anime
3. Plays video games
4. (and finally) has an obsession with keeping cables and wires (which more than once have come in handy, like when his friend came over and needed to plug his phone into a computer to retrieve information 

Wife (aka Me):

1. I enjoy  documentaries
2. Reading (to be very honest, I mostly miss college because of the extensive academic journal database I had free access to 24/7)
3. Writing, hence the blog theses days. 

The Husband and I are definitely one of the the "Opposites Attract Couples."

But our biggest obstacle in the "opposites attract" category deals with organization, and how we want our home to look and what we want it to represent.  My husband has the hardest time getting rid of things.  Which would normally not be a problem, except, we have recently moved into his childhood home and we now have to clean out his old bedroom.  For starters, the bedroom is wallpapered with all kinds of posters. There are things hanging from the ceiling, old baseball caps (which he never wears), toys he didn't know he still had, and clothes that are either outdated or he will never fit into them again.  But trying to get him to donate anything is incredibly difficult.

Here's an example of what we go through on a regular basis when organizing.

If I ask, " hey hunny-nerd, can I donate this t-shirt? it's hardly worn, so it would definitely make a great donation".

He says, "Oh, let me see it! Umm no, well what do you think?, I was hoping to save it and make a t-shirt quilt out of it".

Nevermind he has a t-shirt fetish and there are a plethora of t's to choose from, the shirt isn't even a great one, but I can't SEW for the life of me! Like not even a button!  Mostly because I get this weird feeling in one of my eyes that the needle is going to go straight through it!!!  Maybe if I had a sewing machine, I could look up a tutorial (which I have) and maybe give it a shot.  Because paying someone to do it is really expensive.  I've looked up several places and it's over $150 to make anything decent!

I, on the other hand, am totally on the wasteful side.  I go into these rages of desperation and I just throw everything in a box and give it away.  It's mostly things that I haven't used in a while, but sometimes, I just get rid it so I don't have to see it and find a place for it anymore. 

Halloween 2009

However, being different is what keeps us going strong.  I love that he is more outgoing than I am.  The toy and Halloween isles at any store is a playground, and I must admit, I have joined him in a plastic sword fight more than once.  Halloween is definitely a big deal for him, and I have become a fan of it myself. Well minus the scary movies which I can't do.  I can definitely appreciate the computer nerd in him. I cannot, for the life of me, do anything more than turn on my computer and goof around.  But I think he also appreciates that I'm more grounded.  (I feel like I talk more about my husband than myself in this post, but I guess it's more difficult to describe myself).